9 things I want my child to gain from traveling

As I've stated before, one of my objectives in this blog is to encourage families to travel with their children. I enjoy sharing some of our personal experiences and I am glad to offer some tips from time to time that I find make whole-family travel easier.

However, today I want to back up and share what I want my child to gain from such a travel-focused life, and I hope it resonates with some of what you want for your children as well.

I think I could add more reasons or state them differently, but here are the top 9 things I want Petunia to gain from traveling.

1. My time and attention

We do make "family fun time", as we call it, a pretty big priority around here. But let's be honest, there is always work, housework, sports practice, growing a small business, Facebook (for me), t.v. (for her), and living ordinary life that gets in the way of meaningful connection. We still have thoughtful games of checkers and cards, good conversations over ice cream, and plain ol' cuddle-on-the-couch moments. I am not saying we need travel to give our children our time, just that it's a great opportunity not only to give them more attention, but to have deeper talks born out of richer, non-ordinary experiences. Not only did Petunia get the full attention of Mama and Daddy all day on Canada Day when we celebrated it in Ottawa, but we got to speak about what that day meant, compare it to our Independence Day and have all kinds of good talks.

2. A sense of adventure

a.k.a. A willingness to take risks! I want her to climb the mountain, literally and figuratively. I want her to try things she thinks she cannot, but will try anyway because the location demands the chance be taken. (Which, by the way, is how very unlikely little I climbed Mt. Fuji.) There are rivers to raft, strangers to talk to, subways to ride, paths to wander, and I pray she'll have a sense to undertake a lot of adventure. In travel, as in life, I want her to be brave. (To my mother: I will be okay if she leaves out certain adventures I sought to undertake, but you would love the redemption, I understand; so let's just see how things go, shall we?)

3. Compassion

There are many ways to gain and practice compassion while traveling, from giving up your seat to the elderly at an airport or bus, to coming face to face with real need and hurt in the world. When we've traveled out of our normal zone, we've encountered homeless people in cities, desperately impoverished children living in shacks in Uganda and a broad spectrum of people with all sorts of special needs. We want Petunia to know about poverty (including, actually, that it exists in our hometown), loneliness, and the vulnerable of society, and we often use our experiences as springboards into life lessons.  Of course, the discourse and practice of compassion happens fairly regularly around our house (I am employed as the Director of Compassion Ministry at our church, after all) but the world makes a great classroom for further study and exercise.

4. Fun

Yes, just a good ol' time!  Amusement parks, favorite characters, swimming in all kinds of things--hotel pools, water parks, rivers, resorts, lakes--all of it, riding all modes of transportation, interactive museums, picking out souvenirs from nature or unusual stores, playing fun games with friends you meet and keep for two hours, hiking, camping, interacting with animals, whew!  I want Petunia to have FUN! And we want to have a lot of fun with her!

5. An expanded education

It's funny how you're always learning something in travel, even when you're not trying. Architecture, historical markers, fun museums, names of town--everywhere is a chance for you all to learn something together or for you to teach your children. Add to that purposefully putting in a little learning: History in our great cities, geography by studying a map of where you're going, math by measuring the distance and/or converting currency and/or accounting for the time difference back home, foreign language that can be put to practice, social studies, art...and then all types of museums where you're learning facts on any of the widest array of subjects all the while enjoying yourself.  Petunia loves museums, so we're grateful for that extra bit of grace.  We can learn a lot in a classroom (and boy are we grateful that Petunia has had some of the best teachers) but some lessons that stick with you forever are the ones you get by living them out.

6. Healthy self-confidence

I believe there are many reasons that travel raises the level of self-confidence in a person. For one, there's something about going places and doing things that are outside of your comfort zone and living to tell the tale that boosts courage.  Then there are the experiences where you really try something you think you can't do and, succeed or fail, the experience alone can raise self-esteem. Ok, especially succeeding. However, I'm a firm believer that if you succeed at everything then you aren't trying hard enough. Finally, suppose I had Petunia just may find herself someday in a work or social situation where it seems everyone else is smarter, richer and more connected. But when the conversation really gets going and she knows a thing or two about countries, currency, and landmarks from personal experience, throw in some opinions on the best art galleries, or science museums, or beaches or NY pizzerias...well, it might just help self-confidence.

7. Humility

Standing before the mighty rushing Nile, right where it crashes northward over falls that are too dangerous to raft, one can't help but have an appropriate sense of one's own smallness in this world.  Playing with children who will most likely never own a brand new toy in their life, but give you a prized Barbie doll head because they want to give you a gift is humbling.  Gazing up into the sky and still not seeing the tops of the glorious trees in majestic forests shouts in a whisper that there is an amazing, creative author of this world and we are just one, though dearly loved, individual in a great span of time.

8. Good memories

This is different than #4 above. We traveled places for Petunia to have fun long before she would have been able to develop any lasting memory of it. Fun is important in its own right. However, fun lived again through memories, and not just fun but wonder, sadness, excitement, even a little fear, discovery, anticipation...these...these are treasures. I cannot overstate the times a smile has caught my lips unawares or a sudden tightening of the chest brought on by a song, a smell, a sight, hearing a name, or reading a phrase that to me will always be linked to a certain memory of other times and places usually, in my case, experienced through travel. My life is richer in layers because of these memories and I wish for Petunia to have all her heart can hold.

9. A broader perspective

The more we become interconnected through social media, the more I learn about how others feel on a wide variety of topics, many of them ridiculously mundane, but others of great import.  Many times I've read the opinion of someone that I generally find to be well mannered and fairly well educated on an important topic and thought to myself, "They just really have no idea."  And that's not mean; it's just true that, often, they really just do not have an idea of the other side of the argument. It's very easy to live life in a single state or two, grow up with people like you, travel only to places that cater to people like you and then espouse opinions and make declarations on social media or real life without ever understanding where the proponents of the other side of the argument are even coming from. To be clear, in this home, we hold some strong opinions. On the other hand, we want Petunia to meet people and go places that aren't in the least like us or like home. I want her to meet--and know--people of different races, religions, cultures, political parties, socio-economic levels and more.  I want her to have a perspective on this whole wide world and all the people that the issues affect.  I want her to grow up into a young woman who holds her own very strong opinions and beliefs and will defend them, but not because she doesn't realize there are other ways to think.  I want her to confidently go on with her choices because she believes they are right, not because she believes that people who hold differing opinions are dumb.  I want her to grow up and be known for what she is for rather than what she is against.  And I want the same for her parents.

What's on your list?  Please share because I very likely want them on my list, too.

Tips for travel: Long Flights and Challenging Conditions--with kids!

If you have read this page about me, you will know that one of my goals in writing this blog is to encourage others that you can take the "hard and far" trips with your children.  It is not easy, but it IS worth it, and I am here to help! I will be getting into a few very specific items to bring and things to do in this post, but I'm going to start with the most important thing you need to have to make travel successful (with anyone) and I want you to hear me out: A good, adventure-seeking attitude.  That is the secret.

If you can only bring one thing from this post, bring an attitude that is ready for the journey, not just the destination and it will revolutionize the way you travel.

I know--believe me I know--that delays and frustrating events happen during travel and it is impossible to actually be happy about all of them. However, if you are prepared for some bumps along the way, it will certainly help.

As for your kids, they are going to pick up your travel attitude.  On our recent trip to Uganda, we did not tell Petunia that unfortunately we had very long flights, but if we could just suffer through them, we would have fun when we arrived.  Not at all!  We told her about the exciting things that were going to happen because we got to take such a long flight.

On those long flights, you will get to your seat to find a little gift waiting for you.  On Emirates, which we flew to Uganda, there is a little zippered case with socks, toothbrush, and even an eyemask!  Now, you may not get that excited about such gifts, naturally, but why not?  Get to your seat and unpack it with your kiddo. Share the awe that you are getting a present before you even take off!

One of the greatest advances in international travel in recent years is the onboard entertainment.  In my teens, I crossed the Pacific many a time when my entertainment consisted of the books I brought on board and the two, chosen-for-everyone, firmly scheduled movies that would be shown during the flight.  And you know what? I survived!  (I did not know any better, but I digress...)

Now, international flights with kids are a breeze.  On the several major ocean-crossing airlines I have been on the last several years, there are individual screens so you can watch movies, television series, play games and listen to music to your heart's content.

There was a very wide choice of movie options appropriate for her and, on our longest flight, she watched four. That certainly helped the time go by.

We also make sure to travel with at least a couple books and some kind of pen and paper.  You could certainly get delayed either in an airport (no personal screen!) or on board at a time when the entertainment system cannot be turned on.  Be prepared to kick it old-school and read, write or play games.  Also, use that paper and pen to make your old-enough-to-write kids jot down a few thoughts from every day.  It is hard to slow down enough to do that while you're having fun, but you will all be grateful later!

Covering all our bases, we usually also try to travel with a Kindle Fire that is loaded up with a few games and shows.  Something like that comes in handy for the non-traveling part of trips where you may want kids to wind down or be still.  We love our Kindles in our house and they are quite inexpensive now. Petunia pretty much played all day every day in Uganda, but sometimes watched a short show while laying down getting settled to sleep.

Find out if your airline does anything special for kids flying with you.  Emirates was great at this! As you can see here under "Young Flyers", they do go out of their way to make the flying experience fun and memorable for kids.  Between the many flights, Petunia got to collect a few monsters, several World Cup wrist bands, and got attention from the crew like this:

One final thing to say about that airline, between meals you could walk to the back and help yourself to water, juice, fruit and full-size candy bars!  That was a favorite flight feature! Still, be prepared like a scout and bring some yummy, healthy things your family can eat in case everyone sleeps during a meal or is hungry for the munchies during one of those great movies.

When we returned home and exited our second 15 hour flight of the trip, Petunia's aunt asked her right away, "How was the flight?"  Her answer: "FUN!"  That speaks volumes about the airline, our preparation, and hopefully, our attitude.

So, you have made it! Welcome to your destination which may present some challenging situations.  If you travel to Africa, you do just have to be prepared that some things we take for granted may not always be available.  How do you keep your family as safe, clean and comfortable as possible? Have some wet wipes and hand sanitizer in your bag if you are going anywhere you will be eating and may not have running water. I hate that some foreign travelers make such a big display of using this that hand sanitizer is sometimes called "mzungu soap." No need to make a show, but you want to stay healthy. Wipe your hands with a wet cloth to remove any dirt--in Uganda it is the beloved but ubiquitous red clay--and then use a little sanitizer.

Traveling where there may be malaria?  By all means, take your malaria pills!  As an added precaution, I use a little of this essential oil (Purification by Young Living) to help keep the mosquitos away.  It has citronella and other natural oils in it and works wonderfully.  I don't like to spray myself down with a chemical-laden repellant unless I know we will really be going somewhere heavily infested and that would be a good choice.

Even under our mosquito net we would hear a buzz some nights. I got up and put a couple drops of this oil on our exposed body parts like ears and wrists.  The buzzing went away!

Here is one of about 3 bags of oils I traveled with. I love several essential oils and used them for fighting infection, staying calm while traveling, tummy issues, and so many things!

A reality in traveling to the more rugged destinations is that you may encounter bathrooms (or squatty potties) without toilet paper.  I used to prepare for this by just tearing a bit off and putting it in a small ziplock.  But I am glad I discovered Tissue on the Go!  The rolls are small and do not take up much room, but helps the paper stay cleaner and dispense easier.  Definitely worth the few dollars it costs, in my opinion.

Similar to the wipes above, but a little more specific, be prepared with some facial wipes and enough wet, disposable cloths that you can use for other strategic cleaning areas, too.  Let's just say that you may go a few days without water or electricity and bathing can become a challenge, if you are someone that loves to go to bed feeling clean. (<---- me)

 Of course, part of the experience and adventure (remember the attitude part?) is embracing things that arise. In that vein, Petunia certainly will be keeping a strong memory of a very cold shower she just had to take after a couple days of playing with friends, dirt and goats with everything she had.

I hope some of these tips and products may be helpful in your next adventures. If you have more, please share! I would love to expand my bag of tricks!

"Yes, for vacation..."

That is an answer I find myself giving a lot these days when telling people that we are going to Uganda.  I don't blame them. It's kind of weird 'round these parts to go to East Africa for vacation.  The nurse giving Ainsley one of her shots was reading my paperwork back to me as if I'd filled it out incorrectly. "You said here you're going for vacation, but you mean mission trip, right?"  She is a travel nurse who gives vaccines all day long and we were strange even to her.

At the bank I requested newer, clean bills because the country we were going to, I explained, "...is very picky about bills they will exchange." She was curious where, so I told her. She thought a minute and asked, "Are you going for {pause while she thought of a possible reason someone would go} business?"

But when you're going with your family to have fun and visit friends, without a set agenda...that's a vacation, right?

I will grant that there will be a ministry visit or two involved. Because that's where our friends are.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, we will be spending most of our time with my friend Renee, the founder and international director of Serving His Children, an organization dedicated to "breaking the cycle of malnutrition one life at a time."

Malnutrition sometimes looks very different than we would expect in Uganda.  There are the babies that just don't get enough food at all and have super skinny limbs and a distended belly, but there are other babies who just do not get the right types of food and it takes longer to tell that they are sick.  Recently a wonderfully talented friend of Renee's spent a good time at Serving His Children and was able to capture this story of Blessing.  I hope it blesses you and helps you see the dear people with whom we're going to get to spend some time.

[vimeo 94221354 w=500 h=281]

So, yes, maybe I should acknowledge this isn't vacation like, "Hey, kids, we're going to Disneyworld!"  (For the record, I love Disneyworld!)  I know it will be different.  I know it will shake up Petunia's world.  I know we will learn things as adults as we look at this new world through our daughter's eyes.  I know our family will grow closer over shared heartbreak, adventure and gratitude.

That's why I want to go.

Memory Monday: There's no de-Nileing it...

...I'm ready to return!

We're getting ready to leave for summer vacation very soon...to Uganda!  It will be Petunia's first time going with us and I am beyond excited to experience this beautiful land with her.  So, for my first Memory Monday, it seemed fitting to share a picture from my first trip to Uganda in January 2011, overlooking the Nile River at Bujagali Falls.